Etiquette Between Husbands and Wives

Let the rebuke be preceded by a kiss.
Do not require a request to be repeated.
Never should both be angry at the same time.
Never neglect the other, for all the world beside.
Let each strive to always accommodate the other.
Let the angry word be answered only with a kiss.
Bestow your warmest sympathies in each other's trials.
Make your criticism seldom, and in the most loving manner possible.
Make no display of the sacrifices you make for each other.
Never make a remark calculated to bring ridicule upon the other.
Never deceive; confidence, once lost, can never be wholly regained.
Always use the most gentle and loving words when addressing each other.
Let each study what pleasure can be bestowed upon the other during the day.
Always leave home with a tender good-bye and loving words.

-Hill's Manual for Social and Business Forms, 1888

Just A Post.

Just decided to drop into blog-land for a moment so I can relax a little. I'm in the process of trying to help Victoria learn how to go to sleep by herself. Sigh.

She hasn't been a terrible sleeper; she's only been waking up occasionally -- at 8:15pm, 9:00, 9:30, 10:15, 11:30, 12:00am, 2:30, 4:00, and then of course we get up at 7:30 for the day. And she ain't crying to be fed, either. She's crying because she's always rocked to sleep and when she wakes up, she doesn't know how to relax and go back to sleep. She also cries because she expects us to pick her up whenever she cries in her crib -- Keith and I are both at fault here. It's automatic for us, has been since day 1. So she never has a chance to put herself back to sleep, and what do we do once we have her in our arms again? We rock her back to sleep. And I've come to realize that this is simply a habit that I've gotten her into because I LOVE to rock my baby and could spend all day just rocking and cuddling and singing to her. But it's important to me, at 8 months old, that Victoria learns that it's ok to fall asleep (and fall back asleep), while knowing we're still there, and haven't abandoned her.

So this is Night 1 of Victoria's "sleep training" (bleh). Yes, I had to let her cry. Some people may not like that idea. But to each his own. I say whatever works. Besides, I didn't just give her a bath and feed her and then dump her into the crib. I followed my normal bedtime routine (including rocking) and let her get to sleep. It was when she woke up that I made a point not to pick her up. But I didn't leave her alone to cry. I patted her and sang/talked to her while she cried. That. Was. Hard. Thank the Lord for earplugs. But then in 30 minutes, she had reduced to an agonizingly pitiful "sniffle sniffle cry" and then drifted between sleep and awake every minute or two. I felt like the worst mama on the planet.

Then magic happened. She opened her eyes, lifted her head and looked up at me, then after a few minutes of shifting to get comfortable, she dozed right on off by herself.

45 minutes of awfulness. And as of this moment, 50 minutes of quietness.

Finding Balance.

I don't know about anyone else, but I have days when, by the time I finally make it out of bed and begin functioning normally, it's already time to climb back into bed for the night. I used to be relatively good at posting to my blogs, but as of late, life has been a blur to the point that I've started 3 posts and have yet to finish one. My Daily Meme, for example, was begun on Sunday -- since I was writing about Saturday -- and it's still sitting in my edit box. And I can't quite put my finger on why. That's really the worst part, there. All I know is that my days have become a quick succession of sleeping, eating, working, and baby care -- rarely in that order and often simultaneously (don't ask) -- and I haven't had even a moment to do some of the simplest tasks around the house. And nothing for myself, like...oh, I don't know...a shower. Pick up any parenting magazine out there and it'll tell you to "make sure and take care of mommy so mommy can better take care of the baby." Easier said than done, if you ask me.

(For those who might be wondering -- yes, I did opt to have a shower before posting to the blog. I do have priorities, after all.)

But where does God fit in here? Before I was married, I was quite pleased with my "God time". I had a devotional time when I woke up and when I went to bed, and probably never felt fuller in the Spirit as I did back then. Getting married made all that devotional time harder to come by, since, after all, I had a man to look after now. Now that the baby has arrived? I am loathe to admit it, but the moments are scarce that I get to crack open my Bible at any time other than church. With a child to look after, these are the days when I need to be cracking open that Bible. I need to be feeding my daughter the Word.

Now, I could rant over the fact that I am somewhat forced to continue working a full-time job which is daily robbing my daughter and my home of the attention they should be receiving from me...but the decision of my husband to have me continue working until we can get our house built and home established is not really one I can supersede. If I'm to submit to his leadership as I would God's leadership, then I must accept my life for what it is. There might be a reason God wants me to keep working, and he's simply using my husband as a way to establish His will. Problem is, that also means I simply must learn to deal with having a very large workload -- both for a paycheck and for my home -- that just might clean wear me out and make it tempting to put that Bible in the drawer instead of on the nightstand.

I shall persevere to leave that Bible out where it is readily accessible when I lay down my head at night, and to spend time in it regularly, even if it's only for a few minutes. God will grant me balance and nourishment, if only I will take the time to accept it. What a beautiful blessing that is, isn't it?

What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge, take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you? Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you; you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship will be our sweet portion there.

I do wish you all a lovely evening. It might be blustery and cold, grey or white with snow outside your doors, and maybe sometimes things can seem rather dismal as we trudge through the "dead of winter"...but remember you always have the love of your families and friends to keep you warm!

Blessings,
Amy

Infant Sacque Coat Pattern

At long last.

Sorry, ladies, for keeping you waiting. You must forgive me, though. :)

One day, I'll get caught up. I'm glad, however, to be able to post little patterns I make for my sweet little one. It's almost like I'm chronicling bits of her life.

Have a lovely, blessed, quiet evening, my dear friends.

New Things.

We got a new crib.

Actually, it's the crib we got for Victoria before she was born, but she's been content (and safe) in her cradle until now, so we finally brought it out of storage and put it together. Her cradle is hardwood, very sturdy and lovely and she's made it a full 7 months in her little cradle next to my bed.

But onto bigger (and better?) things, right?

I'm a little sad. Is that silly?

First, we had to organize and get things ready to move my grandmother's vanity table from it's place between the windows and put it next to our bed. The crib will take its original place. So I started with rotating the outgrown clothes and bringing in the now-fitting clothes. Victoria helped me, as you can see. In the process, we found a cute headband that I slipped on her pumpkin-noggin. I'm not overly fond of headbands on babies, but I couldn't help it. Even Keith thought she was too cute. ;)

Next, I moved the vanity, and then put the crib together. I think it turned out rather pretty. I liked this style because it also converts to a toddler bed, as well as a youth bed later on. The sheet, bumper, and blanket are all from my mother in law. Cute, huh?

I think she liked it ok. :)
(By the way, I didn't intentionally match her clothes to her crib.)

At this writing, she's napping in it. I hope she transfers from cradle to crib with not too much angst and despair and rending of garments.

Last Sunday, we had an impromptu Bible Study. Sort of. Keith was reading something Biblical to Victoria and I caught them from afar (ie: the other room) and snapped a few photos of him wrestling a wiggly baby while trying to impart wisdom of the Scriptures.

I hope this post finds you all well.

A quick note: A few of you have asked about that coat pattern. I really will get it to you soon. I promise. :)

Worn and wrinkled.

It's Wednesday evening. We've finished our trade show here in Dallas (it's a work thing) and I'm really, truly ready to get back home to my dear husband and our own creature comforts. Looks like some serious rain is coming our way, though -- I truly hope it's not raining when I head home. Victoria has been a good girl and was showered daily with much love and adoration by her Mamaw and Pop (my folks) until she is wholly spoilt and will likely be a Bad Girl when we get home. ;)

Ciao!
Time to make like a tree and leaf.
See you again when I get home.
-Amy

Happy 2010.

Seems weird to be in the 10's. But here we are! :) I hope everyone had a lovely, dreamy, wonderful, joyful, blessed holiday season and New Year. I'm kind of glad all the bustle is all over. There's something nice about starting a new year. It's kind of like getting new school supplies. Or a new day planner. I'm one of those people who love the nice, clean, empty pages, just waiting to be filled up with new projects, notes, scribbles, and doodles. For now, it's clean. It's fresh. After all, isn't it nice to know, as Anne Shirley said, that tomorrow is another day with no mistakes in it?

God has really been working on me in 2009 (with help from the prayers of a couple of dear friends -- thank you!!) and now that the year has come to a close, I look forward happily to a new year full of continued growth and new challenges. Moving away from the Big City was difficult in 2008, but eventually I got used to the small town. I still (and always will) miss having my friends and family so close by. Even in the Big City, they weren't all that close by, but they were definitely closer than 3+ hours. I sometimes truly ache for dinner with my sister, or tea with Kerri, or enjoying the holidays with my folks. But through God's grace, He helps me bear the ache. Imagine how the pioneers of old felt, leaving their families (sometimes never to see them again!) to move miles and miles and states away. I must be thankful for e-mail and unlimited cell phone plans and cars that go 70 miles per hour. :) Having a baby in 2009; now that was both exciting and terrifying. But we've found a nice rhythm together as a family -- although my many years of independence still gnaws at me when I'm doing dishes and cleaning house at 11pm when the baby has finally gotten to sleep. I don't think I've quite accepted fully the fact that I simply can't do everything I used to be able to do. Nevertheless, God has seen me through these two major life changes...not to mention many little battles that occur from 7am to midnight each day. 2010 will bring another life change (hopefully) -- the building of our home on my dad's ancestral property.

I'm not big on resolutions -- I always get in over my head when I do that and then feel like a failure. But I think if one sets realistic goals, it's much easier to build -- and hold onto -- the confidence to complete them. Here are my goals for 2010. I look forward to seeing what others have chosen to accomplish in the new year.

Eat better. I have a little person who is soon going to be very interested in tasting what's on my plate and in my cup. I eat far too much junk and drink far too many sodas and sugary stuff. I'm a soda addict, I think. ;) Seriously, though, if I'm not going to eat better for myself, I need to eat better for Victoria. And in the long run, she will end up helping me (and Keith) become healthier people. To give myself specific goals, I suppose I should at least start with eating a green vegetable at dinner, drinking tea instead of soda, and drinking a glass of water in the morning and in the afternoon. Then once I master that, I can up the quantity of water, lower the quantity of tea, and start looking at healthy substitutions.

Make more skirts. I love Sarah Jane's historical wardrobe and she's really inspired me to wear more skirts or dresses. Truth be told, even if I can't achieve a wardrobe that's fully historical, I want to at least wear more skirts -- vintage style or maybe 1900 or 1910 style. My first goal, however, is to carve out some sewing time so that I can draft and sew said skirts. I hope to find some cute blouse patterns to wear with them too.

Forego traditional jeans for vintage style. They're just more modest than modern jeans, which are too tight and too low-rise. Anna Allen has a beautiful pair she made some time ago (the image at right are them) from a 1940s vintage pattern. They're totally cute. I'm in love with the sailor style. Here's one of her wearing them. I do plan on wearing many more skirts in the new year -- however, one sometimes needs to do hardy work where there is convenience in wearing pants. I will still probably buy some heavier-duty work jeans to wear when we're out at the property digging in the dirt.

Go to bed earlier. We all need sleep and without it we run a much greater chance of getting sick. I have ended up staying awake until midnight or 1 a.m. since I got off maternity leave, and most days I just drag. (My bad diet has something to do with that.) I'm attempting to work, take care of a baby, keep house, and still try to get in some much-needed recreational sewing -- and it's just hard. By God's grace I'm able to do it. But I need to accept that not everything will get checked off the list every day and just pack it in earlier in the evening so I can get some beauty rest.

Learn how to keep a neater house so my previous goal is easier to attain. I'm not an organized person by nature. Strangely, I do love (as I said in the beginning of this post) organization and neatness and fresh, clean pages/rooms/stuff. It's like two people live inside my head: a neat-freak and a slob. They fight constantly. Keith has gently (ha!) pointed out that I have a tendency to do little things that turn into big things -- like not being more efficient when I cook and ending up with a pile of dishes; or pulling out all of Victoria's toys instead of just a few at a time; or getting out my magazines to get ideas about cake decorating (because I was in the mood) and just leaving the magazines there on the footstool. I know I do these things for a reason -- I'm not done with the magazines, so I leave them out for later. Later, though, I don't have time to look at them because something else has come up and captured my interest. It's the same kind of thing for all the stuff I end up leaving out. Then Clean Day has come and I have a pile of work on my shoulders. Then I get bitter. Then I blame Keith. Then we argue. Then I disdainfully do all the cleaning by myself. I'm not saying Keith doesn't add to the mess -- we both do -- but I know I'm at fault for not picking up the house as I go. So I really, really need to learn how to get into that habit.

Get on the cloth diaper bandwagon. I've ordered a few more cloth diaper styles/brands to test, but I'm pretty convinced at this point that I'm going to go with bamboo diapers with an ImseVimse wool cover. I've tried the non-wool ImseVimse cover and it's fabulous! And I've tried BumGenius all in ones, which were great, but I want to go with natural fabrics. So I've ordered BumGenius bamboo diapers so I'll see how those work out. I tried making my own, but I simply don't have the time.

So those are the goals I'm going to start with. Hopefully, in time, I will have achieved them and can set some new goals. Happy New Year!

-Amy

Merry Christmas!

{ yum }

Have a very merry one y'all!

As The Year Draws To A Close...

Seems crazy that a whole year has already gone by. Now we're in full swing of the Christmas holidays, and just yesterday it was June 26th and my first child was placed in my arms. The day before that, it was April 19th (2008) and I was making my marriage vows to my husband. Wow. How much has changed and in so short a span of time. It never ceases to amaze me, this quick marching of the days. But with it, so many joys, eh?

I went to our Ft. Washita reenactment last weekend, and boy we had fun! This week has been incredibly busy (work-wise) so I'm just now getting around to posting photos. Here are a few images from our trip. I didn't get to take near as many as I wanted, unfortunately.

My dear friend's husband, Mr. Hamilton, was caught unawares looking quite dashing on the stone porch of the fort. I'm tickled my camera took such a clear photo -- it was from quite a distance away. Hooray for telephoto. :) He was tricked out in his West Point uniform overcoat here -- and the dress uniform at the ball later that night. It was pretty cold (high 30s, I think) all day Friday and Saturday, so he needed all that warmth.

The next photo is Paula -- my silly, darling friend who I road-tripped up there with. We got decidedly un-period for a short time there while we got on a Geico Pothole commercial giggle-fit. It truly is a hilarious commercial. :) And when you're from Texas...well, it's even more hilarious. Then again -- maybe we're just weird.

At left, two of the ladies of the fort -- Kathy and her daughter Ginger. Ginger is my Civil War dress mecca. She makes the most beautiful clothes. Seriously. And she had so many! We teased her a little bit about her perfectly-sewn and expansive wardrobe, but we think she forgives us. (Hopefully.)

She regaled us all by the huge hearth with a reading of Treasure Island. Some of us listened and sewed. Some of us listened and rocked babies. And some of us just listened, watching the crackling fire as it warmed us all against the chilly gray outside the windows. Music, too, filled the rooms! We had fiddle and banjo and much singing! It was great. And Sunday morning dawned a beautiful, less-chilly day -- with the sounds of Christmas hymns at the church service.

Victoria was an exceedingly good baby. She played with Andrew, was held by many, and cried very little. I got a photo of her in her little coat and cap, and a photo of both Kerri and I with our babies. I was so distracted by the baby-watching that I completely forgot to get a full-length photo of my dress. I'm really a bad photo-journalist, aren't I? But I did get some compliments. It was my first time wearing a hoop or fitted dress in over a year -- so I'm glad it turned out pretty well.

This is Fort Washita -- one of two barracks; and the only one still standing.

* * * * *

We got back home Sunday night and Victoria sat on her own for about 10 minutes without falling. Tee hee! Isn't she cute sitting there by herself? Little cherub.

* * * * *

Sneak peek of my Christmas/New Years card photoshoot:

Aside: I was truly hoping to have a family shot, but Keith's working all the time and I'm sick with a cold, so nobody is photogenic (or available) except for Victoria. :)

A coat and cap for Andrew.

It took me long enough, but I finally finished the last of three coats-and-caps for the three new babies in our reenacting unit. I'm especially blessed that the other two babies belong to two of my darling-est friends, because now I get to pretend I'm "Auntie Amy". :)

This last coat/cap combo is for Andrew. He's just turned 8 months. I fear it might have turned out a little too simple compared to the other two -- but I was trying out a different trim option. Nevertheless, I like how it turned out! I used a tan silk taffeta for the lining on this one and I think it'll suit little Andrew wonderfully. Plus it'll be super cozy!

I used my wool plaid bias as a trim. It just looked so good with the brown wool flannel -- hopefully Kerri will forgive me for looking "matchy-matchy" with her son! Haha! :)

That's all for tonight. We leave for the reenactment first thing Friday morning, so I will be spending tomorrow attaching my skirt to my bodice, adding hooks and eyes to close it, making a list, packing, and all that jazz. Have a lovely evening, my friends. May the Lord bless you and keep you.